Self compassion lessons from a 10-year old

The other day, I was driving my kids from school to home. My 10-year old is fascinated by cars and loves this one particular model. We saw it on our drive to home and here is how the conversation went:

Me: I think we should buy this car

10 yo: Why? We already have a car. Besides that car is too expensive. Doesn't make sense to spend all that money when we already have a functioning car.

Me: Really? I thought you love that car.

10 yo: I do! But I don't think it makes sense to buy it

Me: You are so mature and understanding for your age. 

At this point, I went into self-blaming mode. I told him, how I wish I was like him growing up. I always wanted things that my parents couldn't afford and while being vocal about my wants, I might have hurt my parents feelings so many times. They must have felt that they couldn't adequately provide for me. 

I was proud of my son's maturity in his thoughts and at the same time I was feeling a bit sad about thinking of me unknowingly hurting my parents' feelings growing up. 

After a minute of silence, he said "Papa, I said what I said because I have a car and it is easy for me to say that we don't need another car. But you didn't have many things growing up, so it was natural for you to feel that way. It is okay"

Not only was I super proud of him for recognizing my sadness, and showing me this perspective, but also teaching me a lesson of self-compassion. 

Many times we forget to have self compassion. Holding on to mistakes we made, things we did or said that weigh us down for years. It is important to put things in perspective and use self-compassion to forgive ourselves and feel liberated.

What are you holding on to? 

I see this same thing in coaching my clients. Many of them hold on to the beliefs, mistakes, mindsets that do not serve them and hold them back from their true potential. It is when we dive deeper, they recognize and let go of unwanted beliefs and make room for actions to reach their life goals. 

You can take a step towards your life goals today. I would love to have a chat if you want to dive deeper into a certain area of your life or career. Here is a link to schedule a quick call with me.